FML Response

Friday, December 26, 2025

Politeness Gone Wrong

Sunny Singh December 26, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, while driving, I let someone merge in my traffic lane. They waved, merged, then immediately pulled off the brakes to make a turn, causing me to slam on the brakes and spill coffee all over myself. They waved again, like that fixed everything. I arrived at work sticky, caffeinated, and pissed off.

Response: I would have followed that driver and slammed into his car or better, I would have made him slam his car somewhere else.

Play games or playboy

Sunny Singh December 26, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I went over to a friend's house. He had almost no furniture and slept on a mattress on the floor; however, he had the most impressive gaming computer I've ever seen. He's 40.

Response: Get the most impressive girlfriend for yourself, you will forget gaming computers.

Thursday, December 25, 2025

Helpful Sister

Sunny Singh December 25, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my sister drove past me while I was walking home in the rain. She honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving.

Response: Be positive. Atleast she didn't run over you.

Merry Christmas Dinner Invitation

Sunny Singh December 25, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, a friend had invited me to Christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there, she told me they had forgotten they had another dinner to go to, and asked if I would watch their kids in the meanwhile. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door.

Response: Grab their baby and tell them you and the baby are also coming along with them.

Monday, December 22, 2025

Whose at fault?

Sunny Singh December 22, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I tried to be helpful to a woman carrying boxes, by holding the door open for her. She smiled and marched towards me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, "Thanks" through clenched teeth.

Response: I would have replied her with a welcome smile and one of those boxes banged on her face.

Sunday, December 14, 2025

Innocent Boyfriend

Sunny Singh December 14, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my boyfriend, who happens to be 21 years old, asked me what foreplay is.

Response: Give him a demo.

Sunday, December 7, 2025

Terminally Online Forever

Sunny Singh December 07, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, a thunderstorm killed our internet and I realized there were lots of things that I could do "in the real world", but all of themseems too tiring.

Response: Go offline and see how beautiful the real world is.

Coming and going temporarily

Sunny Singh December 07, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, after my relationship ended for some weird reason, my partner finally moved out and we were broken up, now, just as I started talking to others and feeling OK with being alone, she revealed that the break was temporary and that she has to move back in temporarily.

Response: You need to give her a hard slap in the face temporarily.

Saturday, December 6, 2025

Whose G-string is it

Sunny Singh December 06, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I was at home and my boyfriend called me and said that I'd left my G-string at his house. I only have one G-string and I was wearing it.

Response: Tell your boyfriend that he has left his condom at your house.

Sister or Friend or Enemy

Sunny Singh December 06, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I found out that I was cheated by my boyfriend with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her.

Response: It's time to argue with her now.

Sunday, August 17, 2025

Adult in Kids Section

Sunny Singh August 17, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I'm 35 years old and I had to buy myself a hat from the kids section.

Response: Thank your god that you didn't have to buy a condom from the kids section.

Saturday, August 16, 2025

Overly Polite

Sunny Singh August 16, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I was browsing the frozen section at the store when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. As I said “Oh sorry, go ahead.”, no one responded. I turned around only to see my own reflection in the freezer door.

Response: Thank god, it was not the frozen chicken moving.

Friday, August 15, 2025

No Smoking

Sunny Singh August 15, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I visited my grandma, to remind her that Bud Light and Marlboro Lights is NOT part and what her doctor meant when he placed her on a "light diet."

Response: Are you planning to put her on cigar diet?

Saturday, July 5, 2025

Puzzle Solving Hero or Zero

Sunny Singh July 05, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I went to a puzzle escape room on a date and I was hoping I would be the puzzle-solving hero, so I marched ahead, straight into a low-hanging laser sensor that triggered the alarms and locked every door. We had to be rescued by staff. My date hasn't talked to me yet.

Response: Great! Now a lot of guys might be knowing you, thereby making you popular.

Tuesday, July 1, 2025

Funny Bus Driver

Sunny Singh July 01, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I was running to the bus stop in order to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on.

Response: There's a "middle finger signal" that you can use at such situations.

Movie Night Didn't Go As Planned

Sunny Singh July 01, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I went on my first date with a guy who insisted that we watch a film at his place. I agreed, despite feeling cautious of a potential trap. Halfway through the film, he fell asleep and started snoring. When he woke up, he blamed me for “keeping him up all night.” I was hardly there for an hour with him.

Response: May be you kept him awake all night because he was thinking about you.

Monday, June 30, 2025

Silence Please

Sunny Singh June 30, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, after spending a tiring amount of time trying to stay quiet so I didn’t wake my housemates, I dropped my bowl of food right in the middle of the hallway between the bedrooms with a loud clang.

Response: You could have released a loud fart in order to supress that loud clang.

Saturday, June 28, 2025

Surprise Birthday Gift

Sunny Singh June 28, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, on my sixteenth birthday, I was hoping to get a car as my birthday gift. Instead, my parents got me a three months membership at the near by gym so I can lose weight.

Response: That's sad. They could have bought you a cycle instead, in order to lose weight.

Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Friend or Lover

Sunny Singh June 24, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, on a vacation with my best friend whom I’m secretly in love with, I was dressed to the nines, and felt confident and upbeat about myself. Not once has he made a move on me the entire time, not even in the common hotel room that we shared. At the end of the trip he told me I’m "such a great friend."

Response: That's a "NO". Read the signals dear.

Panicked Stalker

Sunny Singh June 24, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I accidentally liked a photo from 2010 while stalking my ex’s Facebook profile. Not only did she see it, but I also followed their entire family’s pages in a panicked attempt to cover up, which obviously didn’t work.

Response: You need to get a life off the social media. Try stalking someone in real life.

Sunday, June 22, 2025

Consistent Relationship

Sunny Singh June 22, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, as I was filling out my divorce papers, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's just 17.

Response: That’s probably because your son doesn't have a wife yet.

Sunday, June 15, 2025

First date

Sunny Singh June 15, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I tried to playfully flick a fry at my first date. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom and never came back.

Response: You should have checked on him in the bathroom. He must have died of laughing.

Fireworks at home

Sunny Singh June 15, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I tried to heat some food in my microwave. I forgot to remove the foil it was wrapped in. The microwave went into overdrive in a dramatic display of sparks, which triggered the fire alarm as well, and I had to convince the neighbors at my door not to evacuate their apartments.

Response: Thank god they didn't call the fire brigade, otherwise you would have to convince the firemen as well.

Restaurant's Hygiene Problem

Sunny Singh June 15, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch and as I began to eat, I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair.

Response: You need to get bald before going to a restautant next time.

Sunday, February 23, 2025

Tax benefits

Sunny Singh February 23, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my long-term boyfriend still does not want to get married and files our taxes jointly, but rather wants to claim me as a “dependent” so he gets a bigger refund.

Response: Give him the biggest refund ever by dumping him.

Long time grudge

Sunny Singh February 23, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I found out that my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me that it ran away. I can't even be mad at my dad, he's been dead for 5 years.

Response: I am wondering, who ate your dad?

Monday, February 17, 2025

Girlfriend or money

Sunny Singh February 17, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, the woman for whom I gave up my $100,000 day job, and two luxurious vehicles for her accessories, now says she doesn’t want to get married to me because I have to work a low salaried job.

Response: Buy her with your money but only for time pass.

Saturday, February 15, 2025

Happy relationship anniversary

Sunny Singh February 15, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I celebrated my 4-year anniversary with my girlfriend. Forget about sex and kiss, all I got to do was cuddle the stuffed Minion she got me for Christmas.

Response: May be she wanted you to use that minion as a sex toy with your girlfriend, instead of just cuddling it.

Random vomiting

Sunny Singh February 15, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says I am absolutely fine and that it's all just in my head.

Response: What did you expect? Congratulations, you are pregnant?

Mini heart attack

Sunny Singh February 15, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I checked my jacket pocket for my iphone, all while still holding my iphone.

Response: It could be worse. Try doing that with your girlfriends.

Thursday, February 6, 2025

Women modesty and men

Sunny Singh February 06, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I posted a status how women deserve the right to be sexually liberated. Some ass holes felt the need to comment, “Have you looked in the mirror? In your case modesty would be an act of mercy.” Another commented, “Yeah bro, I bet they’d pay her to keep her clothes on in strip clubs.”

Response: Be positive, they are motivating you to get in shape.

Chess or day job

Sunny Singh February 06, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, after months of playing chess as a hobby, I'm actually starting to get much better. Excitedly, I decided to share this with a friend. Her response, "Don't quit your day job. You're not becoming a professional."

Response: Beat her in a match to shut her up.

Wednesday, February 5, 2025

Tit for tat

Sunny Singh February 05, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he screamed loudly "Yes Brittany!". Brittany is his sister's name, not mine.

Response: You should have screamed a random name too, like "Yes Mike".

Who's the bitch

Sunny Singh February 05, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Soon, I got a text message saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few minutes baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name is not Megan. Not even close.

Response: Megan is the bitch your husband was refering to. Be positive.

Did I do something wrong

Sunny Singh February 05, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I was at the airport waiting for my flight, and I was sitting next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong.

Response: Are you sure, it’s the water bottle that you took out?

Tuesday, February 4, 2025

Lonely or lucky

Sunny Singh February 04, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I just found out that my sister will be bringing her boyfriend along with her to spend the Christmas festival with my family. The two of them, along with my brother and his wife, make me the only single one in the family this year. Looks like I'll be spending the Christmas Day with my dog.

Response: Advice from a married person, "Trust me, you are the luckiest person alive. And dogs are the most loyal creature on earth."

Stupid Valentine's Day

Sunny Singh February 04, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I pour down my bitterness about the fuss being created around Valentine's day, on facebook. Few of my friends replied, I am only saying this because I am obese and can't get laid. They are right.

Response: Obese people can also get laid. You just have to choose the correct positions on bed.

Monday, February 3, 2025

Self proclaimed black belt martial artist

Sunny Singh February 03, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it out from my belt loops too quickly.

Response: You seem to be boasting about it as if it makes you a black belt martial artist.

Happily unmarried

Sunny Singh February 03, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I was at a wedding, and during the bouquet toss, I stood back and let the single ladies have their moment. The bouquet flew straight at me, hit me in the face, and I instinctively grabbed it. Now everyone thinks I’m desperate to get married.

Response: You should have thrown back the bouquet, just to send a clear message that you are happily unmarried.

Yummy treat

Sunny Singh February 03, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I was getting late for work, so I skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a quick bite bar in my bag and so I took a bite of it, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there few days ago.

Response: That's okay. Just don't let your dog know that you ate his treat.

Sunday, February 2, 2025

Boyfriend or doctor

Sunny Singh February 02, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, after months of health problems and my boyfriend offering unsolicited advice that mostly boiled down to "eat meat, take vitamins", I finally followed his advice to prove that he was wrong. A week later I started feeling better than ever before. He's never going to forgive me.

Response: Atleast you were right in choosing your boyfriend.

Little knowledge is dangerous

Sunny Singh February 02, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I offered my roommate some aspirin as she was complaining about headache. She looked at me like I was stupid and said, "Uh… That stuff's only for heart attacks." I am living with an idiot.

Response: First give her a heart attack then.

Creepy classmate

Sunny Singh February 02, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy sitting besides me leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom."

Response: Thank god he didn't say, "I have an upset orgasm. I may have to use a condom."

Teacher or babe

Sunny Singh February 02, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe."

Response: I accidently called my teacher "Mummy", when I was a kid.

Power of black belt

Sunny Singh February 02, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, we did board breaking at a karate demonstration. I was nervous about failing in front of the audience, but I kept my cool. Good news, I broke the board. Bad news, I cried like a baby because it hurt my hand. I'm 26.

Response: Wear a black belt and then try again.

Thursday, January 30, 2025

Home or prison

Sunny Singh January 30, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I've been home and out of prison for over a week, I still don't have a job or a vehicle, and my mom keeps checking my phone.

Response: Even if you omit the prison story, the rest still sucks.

Gross cleanup idea

Sunny Singh January 30, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I didn't allow him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth.

Response: Be romantic. Use your tongue instead.

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

Life saver song

Sunny Singh January 29, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I was listening to some music with my wife, and I mentioned that this song changed my mind about breaking up after an argument from years ago.She got insanely mad, threw a suitcase at me, and told me to pack and go.

Response: Congrats, the song saved you from years of torture.

Sunday, January 26, 2025

Unique Lunch

Sunny Singh January 26, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. So he grabbed a condom out of his drawer and put it in his lunchbox.

Response: Make sure that condom is the only thing he gets for his office lunch today.

Googly Eyes

Sunny Singh January 26, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my daughter found a bag of googly eyes that I had but completely forgot about. She spent the day sticking them on random objects around the house. I now have a microwave that looks like it’s judging me for using it too much instead of actually cooking.

Response: Find your daughter a pair of wink eyes so that the objects around you start appreciating you.

Mr. Lonely

Sunny Singh January 26, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, like every other night, I sat in my car outside my house, just to avoid going inside. I live alone.

Response: Being alone is better than being lonely. Understand the difference.

Flood warning

Sunny Singh January 26, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I noticed a spot of water on the floor. I thought my cats had spilled a cup of water and I ignored it. As I came back after a meeting, my entire apartment was flooded with 3 inches of water.

Response: Cool, now all you need is a boat or a swimming suit.

Saturday, January 25, 2025

It's never too late

Sunny Singh January 25, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I was at a date with this cute guy. Incidently, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight into his wine glass. I think it's too late to introduce myself now.

Response: It's never too late. Don't wait for the time when your dentures will fall into his glasses.

Cookie Time

Sunny Singh January 25, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the drawer without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the drawer, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it.

Response: That's one hell of an intelligent dog. I wonder what all he can learn if he sneaks into your bedroom at odd times.

Brave Haircut

Sunny Singh January 25, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I had a new haircut. One of my friends said, "Wow, it’s brave to try something different." I didn’t realize that "brave" was the code word for "bad."

Response: Get bald and show them you are braver than they can ever imagine.

Friday, January 24, 2025

Medical emergency

Sunny Singh January 24, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was "faking" a headache. One thing led to another, and eventually it turns out I have a brain tumor.

Response: Be positive. Ask the doctor if he is faking it too?

Smelly grandson

Sunny Singh January 24, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was, "You stink." I work in a fish store.

Response: I wonder which thing was worse for you, the one that you stink or that your grandfather died.

Fart problem

Sunny Singh January 24, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I woke up while letting out a long stinking fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on duty with lots of people around me.

Response: Next time try silent farts and blame others near you.

Thursday, January 23, 2025

Boyfriend's absence should not be my problem

Sunny Singh January 23, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my boss yelled at me multiple times because my boyfriend didn't show up at work.

Response: Seems like your boss has a new boyfriend for you.

Good boy doggy

Sunny Singh January 23, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I taught my dog to "give me his paw" as a cute trick. Now he won’t stop doing it. No matter whether I am eating, working or sleeping, I’m ambushed by a very proud dog pawing at my leg for treats.

Response: Great! Now utilize your intelligent resource and teach him to work on your laptop, to help you achieve financial freedom.

Friday, December 26, 2025

Thursday, December 25, 2025

Monday, December 22, 2025

Sunday, December 14, 2025

Sunday, December 7, 2025

Saturday, December 6, 2025

Sunday, August 17, 2025

Saturday, August 16, 2025

Friday, August 15, 2025

Saturday, July 5, 2025

Tuesday, July 1, 2025

Monday, June 30, 2025

Saturday, June 28, 2025

Tuesday, June 24, 2025

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Sunday, February 23, 2025

Monday, February 17, 2025

Saturday, February 15, 2025

Thursday, February 6, 2025

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Monday, February 3, 2025

Sunday, February 2, 2025

Thursday, January 30, 2025

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

Sunday, January 26, 2025

Saturday, January 25, 2025

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Thursday, January 23, 2025

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