FML: Today, I went to a puzzle escape room on a date and I was hoping I would be the puzzle-solving hero, so I marched ahead, straight into a low-hanging laser sensor that triggered the alarms and locked every door. We had to be rescued by staff. My date hasn't talked to me yet.

FML: Today, I was running to the bus stop in order to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on.

FML: Today, I went on my first date with a guy who insisted that we watch a film at his place. I agreed, despite feeling cautious of a potential trap. Halfway through the film, he fell asleep and started snoring. When he woke up, he blamed me for “keeping him up all night.” I was hardly there for an hour with him.