FML Response

Thursday, January 30, 2025

Home or prison

Sunny Singh January 30, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I've been home and out of prison for over a week, I still don't have a job or a vehicle, and my mom keeps checking my phone.

Response: Even if you omit the prison story, the rest still sucks.

Gross cleanup idea

Sunny Singh January 30, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I didn't allow him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth.

Response: Be romantic. Use your tongue instead.

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

FML: Today, I was listening to some music with my wife, and I mentioned that this song changed my mind about breaking up after an argument from years ago.She got insanely mad, threw a suitcase at me, and told me to pack and go.

Response: Congrats, the song saved you from years of torture.

Sunday, January 26, 2025

Unique Lunch

Sunny Singh January 26, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. So he grabbed a condom out of his drawer and put it in his lunchbox.

Response: Make sure that condom is the only thing he gets for his office lunch today.

Googly Eyes

Sunny Singh January 26, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my daughter found a bag of googly eyes that I had but completely forgot about. She spent the day sticking them on random objects around the house. I now have a microwave that looks like it’s judging me for using it too much instead of actually cooking.

Response: Find your daughter a pair of wink eyes so that the objects around you start appreciating you.

Mr. Lonely

Sunny Singh January 26, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, like every other night, I sat in my car outside my house, just to avoid going inside. I live alone.

Response: Being alone is better than being lonely. Understand the difference.

Flood warning

Sunny Singh January 26, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I noticed a spot of water on the floor. I thought my cats had spilled a cup of water and I ignored it. As I came back after a meeting, my entire apartment was flooded with 3 inches of water.

Response: Cool, now all you need is a boat or a swimming suit.

Saturday, January 25, 2025

It's never too late

Sunny Singh January 25, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I was at a date with this cute guy. Incidently, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight into his wine glass. I think it's too late to introduce myself now.

Response: It's never too late. Don't wait for the time when your dentures will fall into his glasses.

Cookie Time

Sunny Singh January 25, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the drawer without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the drawer, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it.

Response: That's one hell of an intelligent dog. I wonder what all he can learn if he sneaks into your bedroom at odd times.

Brave Haircut

Sunny Singh January 25, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I had a new haircut. One of my friends said, "Wow, it’s brave to try something different." I didn’t realize that "brave" was the code word for "bad."

Response: Get bald and show them you are braver than they can ever imagine.

Friday, January 24, 2025

Medical emergency

Sunny Singh January 24, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was "faking" a headache. One thing led to another, and eventually it turns out I have a brain tumor.

Response: Be positive. Ask the doctor if he is faking it too?

Smelly grandson

Sunny Singh January 24, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was, "You stink." I work in a fish store.

Response: I wonder which thing was worse for you, the one that you stink or that your grandfather died.

Fart problem

Sunny Singh January 24, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I woke up while letting out a long stinking fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on duty with lots of people around me.

Response: Next time try silent farts and blame others near you.

Thursday, January 23, 2025

Boyfriend's absence should not be my problem

Sunny Singh January 23, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, my boss yelled at me multiple times because my boyfriend didn't show up at work.

Response: Seems like your boss has a new boyfriend for you.

Good boy doggy

Sunny Singh January 23, 2025 0 Comments

FML: Today, I taught my dog to "give me his paw" as a cute trick. Now he won’t stop doing it. No matter whether I am eating, working or sleeping, I’m ambushed by a very proud dog pawing at my leg for treats.

Response: Great! Now utilize your intelligent resource and teach him to work on your laptop, to help you achieve financial freedom.

Thursday, January 30, 2025

Home or prison

Gross cleanup idea

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

Life saver song

Sunday, January 26, 2025

Unique Lunch

Googly Eyes

Mr. Lonely

Flood warning

Saturday, January 25, 2025

It's never too late

Cookie Time

Brave Haircut

Friday, January 24, 2025

Medical emergency

Smelly grandson

Fart problem

Thursday, January 23, 2025

Boyfriend's absence should not be my problem

Good boy doggy

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