FML: Today, while driving, I let someone merge in my traffic lane. They waved, merged, then immediately pulled off the brakes to make a turn, causing me to slam on the brakes and spill coffee all over myself. They waved again, like that fixed everything. I arrived at work sticky, caffeinated, and pissed off.

FML: Today, I went over to a friend's house. He had almost no furniture and slept on a mattress on the floor; however, he had the most impressive gaming computer I've ever seen. He's 40.

FML: Today, my sister drove past me while I was walking home in the rain. She honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving.

FML: Today, a friend had invited me to Christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there, she told me they had forgotten they had another dinner to go to, and asked if I would watch their kids in the meanwhile. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door.

FML: Today, I tried to be helpful to a woman carrying boxes, by holding the door open for her. She smiled and marched towards me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, "Thanks" through clenched teeth.

FML: Today, my boyfriend, who happens to be 21 years old, asked me what foreplay is.

FML: Today, a thunderstorm killed our internet and I realized there were lots of things that I could do "in the real world", but all of themseems too tiring.

FML: Today, after my relationship ended for some weird reason, my partner finally moved out and we were broken up, now, just as I started talking to others and feeling OK with being alone, she revealed that the break was temporary and that she has to move back in temporarily.

FML: Today, I was at home and my boyfriend called me and said that I'd left my G-string at his house. I only have one G-string and I was wearing it.

FML: Today, I found out that I was cheated by my boyfriend with his ''sister-like friend." It's the girl I was always worried about, and half our arguments were about her.