FML: Today, I went to the dentist and found out I still have a wisdom tooth. I got all four out last month, or at least I thought I did. Now I have to go back and get it removed again.

FML: Today, I visited my grandma, to remind her that Bud Light and Marlboro Lights is NOT part and what her doctor meant when he placed her on a "light diet."

FML: Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch and as I began to eat, I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair.

FML: Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says I am absolutely fine and that it's all just in my head.

FML: Today, after months of health problems and my boyfriend offering unsolicited advice that mostly boiled down to "eat meat, take vitamins", I finally followed his advice to prove that he was wrong. A week later I started feeling better than ever before. He's never going to forgive me.

FML: Today, I offered my roommate some aspirin as she was complaining about headache. She looked at me like I was stupid and said, "Uh… That stuff's only for heart attacks." I am living with an idiot.

FML: Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was "faking" a headache. One thing led to another, and eventually it turns out I have a brain tumor.